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A Total Education | A Guest Post

rabbifink — Fri, 25 Nov 2011 07:34:53 +0000

A guest post by Rabbi Aaron Fink (my father), Dean of Ateres Bais Yaakov on Monsey NY. Part of a weekly Dvar Torah (Torah “Thought”) series.

Parshas Toldos
A Total Education

The beginning of Parshas Toldos reintroduces us to the birth of Yitzchak Avinu as it begins to detail his legacy as a second of our avos. The Parsha begins v’eileh toldos Yitzchok ben Avraham, Avraham holid es Yitzchok. The commentaries wonder what the second half of this pasuk is teaching us since the verse already explained that Avraham was Yitzchok’s father. Rashi quotes the chazal which tells us that Avraham holid es Yitzchok is placed in the verse to teach us that Yitzchok looked exactly like his father and anyone who saw him knew that Avraham holid es Yitzchok, only Avraham can be his father (and not Avimelech, as the cynics of the generation had posited).

The Ibn Ezra takes a different approach. He explains the declaration that Avraham holid es Yizchok is referring to Yitzchok’s chinuch. Having fathered Yishmael, Avraham Avinu knew full well what it was like to have a child at risk. This time he took no chances. Not only did Avraham father Yitzchok but he also reared him to follow his teachings!

In the nature versus nurture debate Avraham had discovered that both our needed. He thus faithfully transmitted all his values and priorities to Yitzchok his son. In every way Yitzchok was the physical and spiritual heir to Avraham Avinu. Similarly we are taught kol milamid ben chaveiro kielu yaldo. From the moment he was born, education, Yitzchok’s chinuch was Avraham Avinu’s full time preoccupation. He put all his kochos leholid Yitzchok, to guide, inspire and direct him on the path of greatness. And, with siata dishmaya he was blessed with success.

If we reflect back on nuances of the previous parsha leading up to and following Yitzchok’s birth we can mine some vital gems of chinuch priorities we can apply today. The Meforshim wonder what is the linkage between the destruction of Sedom and the besurah tova to Avraham and Sara that they will be blessed with a son? The three malachim traveled together, obviously there was a connection to their individual missions. Some explain first and foremost that Sedom had to be destroyed before Yitzchok could be born. There would be no way to rear a Yitzchok to the status of a korban olah with a Sedom in the environs. Thus when the malachim told Sara she would have a son they immediately set out to destroy that which could corrupt and derail all that Yitzchok could grow to be.

Avraham and Sarah understood this message and when the time came they exiled Yishmael from their home. A painful choice that with Hakadosh Baruch Hu’s blessing cleared the environment for Yitzchok to thrive. Even with his new beloved son growing up before his eyes, Avraham stuck to his own mission of outreach in kiruv. Vayeeta eishal b’Vear Sheva, and guest filled his home connecting to Hakadosh Baruch Hu (eishal was the acromyn for achila, shtiya velina). In this manner Yitzchok learned his achrayus to the klal and the need to spread the reality of Hashem Yisborach to a lost and pagan world.

Finally, after the akaida (22:19) Ibn Ezra wonders why the pasuk says vayashav Avraham el niarav, it seems that Avraham alone returned. Where was Yitzchok? The Ibn Ezra explains that following the akaida, the climactic moment of gelui shchina and mesiras nefesh when he was almost shechted, Yitzchok reached a tremendous madraiga. Avraham wanted to capitalize on the energy of the moment and therefore sent him to learn in the Yeshiva of Shem V’ever so that he could build on his inspiration and through limud haTorah to soar to even greater heights that would remain with him long after the inspiration had waned. Avraham holid es Yitzchok. He directed every aspect of his total development, b’gashmius, b’ruchniyus, b’middos, b’mitzvos, b’yiras shamayim ub’limud haTorah.

This message should never be lost upon us. Chinuch must be the full time preoccupation especially in our challenging environment where the elimination of the Sedom’s of our world are simply impossible. As such, we must be even more careful in providing balance between removing corrupting influences from our home (Yishmael) and providing healthy opportunities to see others not committed to our values but who we confidently bring under our sphere of influence without the fear that we will be corrupted by them. As careful as Avraham was with the chinuch of Yitzchok, he did not put his head in the sand nor completely isolate him from the world at large. Finally, we must show our children that Talmud Torah is kineged kulam. It is not enough to be inspired but we must live inspired. Therefore at the moments of great spiritual peeks we must look towards our learning to be the glue that enables us to hold onto that moment and maximize its impact each and every day.

Like Avraham we cannot have a hesech hadaas from the chinuch of our children. We can learn from him. Iy”H as our children grow it will be said of each of us that we were holid each of our offspring.

Thoughts on That Basic Religion Test in the New York Times

rabbifink — Wed, 29 Sep 2010 17:02:56 +0000

The NY Times has a write-up on the study done by the Pew Forum on Religion and Public Life. 3,400 Americans were asked basic questions about religions, religious figures and laws that relate to religion in America.

By now you probably know that the group who scored highest on the survey were atheist and agnostics. You may also know that just a slim margin behind them were Jews and Mormons. The senior researcher said: “Even after all these other factors, including education, are taken into account, atheists and agnostics, Jews and Mormons still outperform all the other religious groups in our survey,”. So athough some of the headlines say atheists and agnostics performed best, the researchers consider them to be statistically close enough to Jews and Mormons for the “Winner”s of the study to be Atheist, Agnostics, Jews and Mormons.

I wonder who the study included in the category of Jewish? Was it people who consider themselves Jewish? Jewish parents? Practicing Judaism and religiously Jewish?

If it was anything but religiously Jewish it would seem that the Jewish respondents may have been less religious that their counterparts from other religions.

Also, most religions don’t teach other religions. The survey asked all faiths about all faiths. It would stand to reason that religious folks would not know much about the other faiths. So it is not a surprising result that they did poorly.

The two biggest things that I take away from the article are:

1) Atheists (and maybe agnostics) should have done BETTER. They scored an average of 20.9 out of 32. That is a terrible score. If one is choosing not to believe in God and not have any religion in one’s life, I would presume that it would after considering the options available. If proper due diligence was made before deciding on atheism I would imagine that they would be more knowledgeable about all religions than the 60% score says.

2) Many religious people are ignorant of their own religions. This is inexcusable. People need to do things out of education not ignorance. You can force any group of ignorant people to do almost anything a powerful leader tells them to do. You can get religious people to act immorally and perhaps in violation of their own religion if they do not know what their religion tells them to do. This is bad. Very bad.

Note to Dave Silverman who is quoted as saying “Atheism is an effect of that knowledge, not a lack of knowledge. I gave a Bible to my daughter. That’s how you make atheists.”: I have no problem with atheism. I think our world is designed to make it difficult to believe in an invisible God. Atheism can be a logical conclusion. But, belief in God is not premised on the Bible. Reading the Bible is premised on the belief in God. In other words, the Book is not a treatise on faith, it is a Book for those who have already believe.

Overall, the survey is disturbing on many levels. Let’s hope everyone does better next time.

Oh, and I took the 6 question mini-survey. Here’s how I did…

Building a City | A Guest Post

rabbifink — Tue, 28 Sep 2010 03:08:38 +0000

A guest post by Rabbi Aaron Fink (my father), Dean of Ateres Bais Yaakov in Monsey NY. Part of a weekly Dvar Torah (Torah “Thought”) series.

Parshas Bereishis

The Chinuch Environment

The tragic story of Kayin and Hevel is familiar to us all. The Torah recounts that Kayin went about rebuilding his life after murdering his brother. We are told that the first step in this self-renewal was his starting a family. Soon thereafter, Kayin had a son. He named him “Chanoch,” reaffirming his dedication to chinuch, educating his child. Then, we are told, Kayin took another step. He built a city, “vayikrah shem ha’ir k’shem b’no Chanoch — and he named the entire city for his son, Chanoch.” Why? What is the lesson we are to learn from this?

Chazal teach us that we are all descendants of Kayin born of Noach’s wife, Naama, who was Kayin’s (grand)daughter. When Kayin was born, Chava proclaimed “kanisi ish es Hashem — I have acquired a god.” Cute baby Kayin. His mother treated him as a little deity and assumed his perfection. She did not rear her son with limits and values. Indeed, her first born may have been somewhat spoiled. Lacking boundaries and priorities, he grew into a murderer. However, the adult Kayin, given the opportunity for teshuva, recognized that indeed, children need nurturing. Each child is a delicate flower which must be personally tended to. Yes, Kayin understood all too well, that a laissez faire attitude toward child rearing produced a horrific result. He therefore, focused his passion on chinuch habonim, educating his child with ethics and standards. But he knew (as do we) that to actualize a singular commitment to education requires more than a good home; it demanded that an entire community be developed that reinforced his ideals. Only then could he be sure that his son would be equipped with the morals necessary to make the right choices in his future. So Kayin built a city and created the environment for his offspring to thrive.

This message is insightful in rearing our children. We need to set standards and priorities for them as we nurture them at home and inculcate them with values in school and in the community. Their circle of friends, their exposure to media and their leisure activities need to be in consonance with our long term goals for their spiritual growth and development. Our activities as well, must reflect the realities we wish for our children. A consistent message of ahavas Hashem, yiras Shamayim and devotion to personifying b’chol drachecha da’eihu in each of our own undertakings will ensure the life long vitality of our children’s growth into the bnei and bnos Torah that we daven for them to be.

Humanitarian Crisis in Nigeria

rabbifink — Thu, 26 Aug 2010 16:33:34 +0000

Child Witches in Nigeria

I saw this CNN article on a friend’s Facebook page.

There is a severe humanitarian crisis in Nigeria. I don’t know how much we can do to help but I think the crisis is emblematic of social issues in our culture as well.

Innocent children are being physically abused, even tortured or killed because they are thought to be witches. If a child can be blamed for a tragedy or illness by claiming they are a witch they will be outcast, then beaten and then abandoned to rid the community of the witch.

Lack of education combined with the abject poverty these folks live under contributes to the social environment that allows for witch hunts. Lack of education and poverty in our country contribute to most of our social ills as well. Fear of the unknown contributes to hate and hate crime. While I don’t think we can do that much to change the environment in Nigeria (Do Not Send Your Money To Nigerian Spammers!) we can make changes in our communities to help every child get an education and have an opportunity to climb out of poverty.

The video talks about a great man who is not gripped in the beliefs of these people and does everything he can for the accused witches. He maintains an orphanage for the abandoned and tortured children and unfortunately his facility is bursting at the seams.

There is a Facebook Page where you can help these children: Click here.

I suggest watching the video below and reading the original article on CNN.

One side note: According to the CNN article the exorcism and excommunication occurring in Nigeria is being done in Churches. It is being done with Pastors. It is a religious ceremony and considered to be part of Christianity.

I am sure nearly all American Christians would vehemently disagree with the beliefs and tactics of the Nigerian Christians. I think it is worthwhile noting that religious folks in Third World Countries living in poverty with little or no education tend to act irrationaly, violently and are extreme in their beliefs. This applies equally to Christians, Jews and yes, Muslims too.

Just something worth thinking about…

CNN Video:

CNN Article: Children abused, killed as witches in Nigeria

This Blog Post is in Honor of (one of) My Incredibly Accomplished Grandmother(s)

rabbifink — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 01:24:35 +0000

This past Sunday I was in Baltimore MD (Birthplace of Eliyahu Fink and his son Rami) for a very unique occasion.

My grandmother was celebrating her 70th birthday (that’s not so unique – right?) AND her recent Ph.D (yes – she just got her Ph.D). Veteran readers of this blog will remember that both my grandmothers work full time (see: My Thoughts On The Aughts). That’s an accomplishment on its own merits!

This grandmother, her name is Louise Fink, is the younger of the duo and she is a practicing clinical psychologist and the Head of Health Services for the Baltimore City Public School System, which means that she is charge of the mental health and special education departments for the entire BCPS. One might think that would satisfy one’s ambition. But not her. My grandmother went for her Ph.D while working full time at time in her life that most people contemplate retirement. All of this while she tended to her ailing husband who has since passed (may his memory be blessed).

Many friends and family attended the party. The only thing missing from the party was the press! Well, its 2010 and today’s press are the bloggers. I was there and I am reporting that yes it is true, Louise Fink is now Dr. Louise Fink Ph.D and a mother to incredible children, grandmother to wonderful grandchildren and great grandmother to adorable great grandchildren.

We have learned so much from our grandmother. We have learned about life, love, education, Torah and family from her. We have recognized her greatness for a long time and now it is time she is recognized publicly.

Thank you for being such a special grandmother, special human being (and reader of my humble blog).

We look forward to sharing many more milestones together!

Father of Adolph Hitler Campbell Loses Custody

rabbifink — Fri, 06 Aug 2010 15:08:48 +0000

Way back in the embryonic stages of this blog I wrote about a father who was denied a birthday cake by a local Shoprite for his son’s birthday.

The reason? The store refused to write the child’s name on the cake.

That child’s name? Adolph Hitler Campbell. (Adolf Hitler Campbell can’t get a birthday cake)

A little while later, I reported that the child, along with his siblings were taken into protective services. (Breaking News! Ad@lf Hitl&r Campbell Update)

Following an appeal, Heath Campbell (the father) has lost custody of his children.

The ruling is not based upon the names of the children: Adolf Hitler Campbell, 4, JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell, 3, and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell, 2. Rather, it seems Mr. Campbell has a bit of a mean streak. In a shocking development it was discovered that Heath Campbell used excessive violence and threats of violence against his children and his wife.

It is sad that these kids will grow up with the most offensive names in the world and now, without a father. But I suppose it is for their best…

And as a lesson to all of us, always treat your kids right, and that starts with naming them with a proper name.

(And a lesson to others, if you are too violent, depraved or moronic to procreate – DON’T! Thanks.)

What Am I Supposed To Tell My Son?

rabbifink — Wed, 09 Jun 2010 06:08:44 +0000

[Alternate blog post title: Sex and the City 2 Billboards Are Offensive To Parents With Young Children.]

I love LA.

Living in LA has its perks. You get great weather 300 days a year, really friendly neighbors, not too many bugs, plenty of excitement, just enough peace and quiet, the Lakers, and a Shul on the Beach (with a lucky Rabbi). But like any big city, there are some drawbacks to living in LA. The traffic, superficiality, the helicopters outside my window at 2 AM, the expensive housing, and the schmutz.

What is schmutz? Literally, it means dirt. But in this context it means dirty in a provocative or an overtly sexual manner. (© me this very second)

Billboards rise like giant monoliths all over the city conveying their messages of sex, wealth and superficial, fleeting “happiness”. Now, most of the time I don’t complain about the billboards. Most billboards are innocuous enough. Some are a little too risque for my tastes, but it is nothing that disrupts my role as a decent human being or a parent. However, the over-hyped, flop of a movie called Sex and the City 2 has crossed the line of decency.

Sex and the City 2 billboards have overtaken the city.

Everywhere you look there is a big ol’ billboard with the giant words “Sex and the City 2″.

The word sex can mean one than one thing. But sex “in the city” has only one meaning. Sex is not a bad word when used in the right context and in front of the right audience. An inappropriate audience would be a listener who is not old enough to understand what the word means, what it entails and when its use is appropriate. It would be wrong to have an open, frank conversation about sex with a young child.

A seven year old child can read well enough to see the word sex, but is not able to understand the word. There is just no way to have a conversation with a young child about sex. It is not age appropriate.

My son reads all the billboards (and also tons of books) and sometimes he even remembers the words on the billboards. Sometimes he repeats the things he sees on billboards. One day he was muttering to himself “Sex and the City”. He says “I can’t get it out of my head”, “what does it even mean?”.

I know all about “Free Speech”. But when an audience does not have a choice or warning about the content of the speech it can be regulated. (See FCC v Pacifica: The Court accepted as compelling, the government’s interests in 1) shielding children from patently offensive material, and 2) ensuring that unwanted speech does not enter one’s home. The Court stated that the FCC had the authority to prohibit such broadcasts during hours when children were likely to be among the audience, and gave the FCC broad leeway to determine what constituted indecency in different contexts.) I think this rule could apply to billboards the same way it applies to radio.

The problem is that the speech is being directed at ANYONE who can read, with no warning and no way to shield a child from its message. That includes my son, who was reading simple words like “sex” (or fox, or dad, or mom, or dog) at the age of 3! Do people think it is appropriate for 3 year old children to read words that will be impossible to define for them?! A provocative image is not going to prompt the kinds of questions that a word can. A kid sees a word and can read it, the kid wants to know what it means! What is one supposed to tell their kids?

If someone was asking me what to do, I would probably try and come up with something clever like, “it’s an adult word and when you get older you will understand what it means”. I guess that is the best I can do. But I find it offensive that young children don’t seem to be considered in what is permissible on a public billboard.

I think there needs to be some level of regulation beyond what exists now. Am I crazy?

We Are All Teachers | A Guest Post

rabbifink — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 20:49:39 +0000

A guest post by Rabbi Aaron Fink (my father), Dean of Ateres Bais Yaakov in Monsey NY. Part of a weekly Dvar Torah (Torah “Thought”) series.

Parshas Shelach

Dvar Hashem Baza

Parshas Shlach Lecha is filled with lessons for eternity. Nestled in between the chet hameraglim and parshas tzizis is a fascinating phrase with significant halachic impact. The Torah tells us that an individual who transgresses the aveirah of avodah zarah intentionally is chayav kares. The reason given is ki dvar Hashem baza, the idolator has disgraced the word of Hashem.

The Gemara in Meseches Sanhedrin (99a) darshens many halachos from this phrase. One drasha is so extraordinary it seems not to go with the rest, which mostly deal with the classic definition of chilul Hashem and the rejection of Torah. This astonishing limud is taught by Rabbi Mayer who explains, “How do we define the concept of dvar Hashem baza?” It is one who is lomaid Torah v’aino melamdo, an individual that learns Torah and doesn’t teach it!

Understood literally, Rabbi Mayer proffers a frightening statement, because most members of Klal Yisroel are not professional pedagogues. Could it really be true that the overwhelming majority of Klal Yisroel who are not engaged in the chinuch profession are considered to have transgressed ki dvar Hashem baza? How are we to understand this statement?

Obviously, the words of Rabbi Mayer must go beyond the literal meaning of teaching others Torah in a classroom setting. Taken more deeply, the words of Rabbi Mayer scream out to us a message, which we can all take to heart.

We know that at Matan Torah, Klal Yisroel was designated as an ohr l’amim, a light to all nations. We are supposed to be a beacon of emunah and bitachon in the Ribbono Shel Olam. Even non-Jews should be able to develop an affinity for Hashem Yisborach as a result of their interactions with Klal Yisroel. We are not merely called the Chosen People, rather we are expected to act the part. Within Klal Yisroel, it is no different. In our homes, in the workplace, in shul, and every place in between, we are all representatives of Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Each of us is a role model as to how a Torah Jew should behave. Whether in business dealings, interpersonal relationships, or our passion for mitzvos, everything we do is an example for others. Rabbi Mayer teaches us that a person who has learned Torah and doesn’t teach it by the way he lives and acts, is one of whom it is said ki dvar Hashem baza, he has despised the words of Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Torah is not merely meant for intellectual stimulation or emotional satisfaction, it is meant to live by. And as we live it, we teach it.

Indeed, every one of us is a rebbe/morah to our children, our friends, our neighbors, and the community at large. It is an opportunity and responsibility not to be missed or taken for granted!

The Most Dangerous (Choking) Game

rabbifink — Fri, 30 Apr 2010 07:00:33 +0000

Remember that short story? “The Most Dangerous Game”? Dangerous games are no longer fiction. They have become part of our never ending news cycle.

It is with a heavy heart that I write this post.

I heard sad news today.

A Santa Monica youth was found dead in his home. Cause of death? A game. The Choking Game.

I had never heard of this “game”. But apparantly most pre-teens have heard of it and many have “played it”.

It seems that there is some “high” associated with near asphyxiation. Boys between the ages of 11 and 16 are the most likely to try one of the different variants of this deadly game. Few parents are even aware that this game exists.

Many kids think that this is a safer way to get high without using alcohol or drugs.

Why is it that many teens feel such a need to escape that they put their lives on the line for a fleeting high? Life is so good. Our world is so incredible. Opportunities are nearly endless. Why is it necessary to escape?

I know that it is important to raise awareness of the alcohol and drug related problems that addle the youth of our country from all walks of life. Certainly, we need to add the choking game and similar games to our ever growing list of common and dangerous activities. I would venture to say that eating disorders from obesity to anorexia find their roots in similar

I wonder if a better way of combating teen substance abuse and dangerous games with a high is not to talk so much about the dangers of the activity. Rather, to teach appreciation and love for life and all that life has to offer. Enjoying life is a skill. All skills can be taught.

I propose courses in “Quality of Life” that teach our youth how lucky they are to be alive. Specifically, how lucky they are to be alive in such a special place and such a special time. A time and place that offers so many opportunities and experiences that are more enjoyable than a fleeting “high”.

As adults, we need to lead by example. We cannot allow ourselves to enjoy our “escapes” more than life itself. Cherish your relationships, maximize your family time, take pleasure in learning new things and sharing them with others.

When we exhibit a youthful exuberance for life, our youth will follow suit. They will find meaning and pleasure in life and not seek dangerous methods of escape.

When contemplating the various escapes we use, I often think of the words of Billy Joel in Piano Man:

“It’s a pretty good crowd for a Saturday

And the manager gives me a smile

‘Cause he knows that it’s me they’ve been comin’ to see

To forget about life for a while”

Philosophy for Tots

rabbifink — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 17:00:27 +0000

Sometimes you read something and you just need to share it. I read about teaching Philosophy to 2nd graders last week.

I LOVE this idea.

The NY Times ran a story last week about a new program at a Massachusetts charter school teaching 2nd graders philosophy.

There are not learning the nuances of the different techniques of philosophers. What they are doing is learning how to have open ended discussions about debatable ideas. So much of school is learning the right answer to a specific question. We are taught at a very young age to figure out what the teacher wants us to say, and then to say it.

Even critical thinking is just a mask for “critically thinking the way the teacher wants you to think”. Giving 7 year old children an opportunity to free-think about an idea is amazing.

Each session the group is read a story. After the story is over, they are asked what their thoughts are on particular subjects.

For example after reading The Giving Tree the students were asked to think about how we should treat natural resources. And they were allowed to disagree in classic philosophical format.

I would love to see this in more schools.

The reading list includes:

The Giving Tree
Frog and Toad Together
Morris the Moose
Emily’s Art

I recommend reading the NY Times article here: The Examined Life, Age 8

I also recommend one of my favorite Monty Python bits of all time. The Philosophers Play Soccer:

Reverse Discrimination and Oversensitivity

rabbifink — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 23:13:52 +0000

Yesterday I wrote about a great film in Simple Justice | The Story of Brown v. Board of Education: The End of Separate But Equal in Schools. Civil Rights made tremendous strides in the wake of Brown. It was a tumultuous time and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. led the way to racial equality.

Today, we have a president that represents the progress on behalf of all minorities. What was unthinkable a generation ago, is the reality of our world. Imagine a 70 year old black man from the deep south who remembers attending a segregated school and looks in the newspaper in 2010 and sees someone who would have been institutionally discriminated against as the leader of the free world. What a feeling that must be…

But along with the good, comes some bad. In the last few weeks I have seen some examples of Reverse Discrimination as well as oversensitivity.

This article on ESPN.com caught my eye a couple weeks back: Winners Hurt by Corporate Bad Judgment. In a Step-Off dance competition an all-white team initially took the crown. But after a mystical “scoring discrepancy” was discovered the judges awarded a co-title to a black team as well. Step-Offs are traditionally won by black groups and most of the participants are black teams.

Everyone assumed that the mystical “scoring discrepancy” was non-existent and the judges were not exactly forthcoming with details to support their decision. Had this been a reverse situation, where the white team lost in a traditionally white sport or competition, like alpine skiing, and a black athlete won and the judges later awarded a white athlete after finding a mystical “scoring discrepancy” the outrage would be powerful, unrelenting and deserved. But it was the reverse and aside from a few sports columnists and bloggers, it went unnoticed. This is not what Brown taught us.

I also saw this news item: Black Barbie Sold for Less Than White Barbie at Walmart Store. Apparantly, demand for an identical white Barbie was higher than for a black Barbie and the price reflected the lower demand. So on one shelf two identical Barbie’s were only distinguished by their price and their skin tone. There is nothing inherently wrong with that. But people took offense to it. There are those who said that it was racist and discriminatory.

It must have been real tough for a black consumer to see that, but it was not intended to hurt, nor is it inherently hurtful. I can understand the sensitivity to seeing that, but there is nothing actually wrong with it. Today, there is nearly no institutionalized racism. Racism today exists in the hearts and minds of those who act as racists and equally so, in the hearts and minds of those who perceive racism in what they see.

We have come a long way in 50 years and of course there is a ways to go still. But I believe that the best thing to do would be to stop classifying people along racial lines and shades of skin color. Both of the examples above rely heavily of skin tone and race. The dance competition took action when a non-black team won a traditionally black competition. The outraged shoppers of Walmart saw a lower price for a doll that was a darker skin color and reacted as well. Just as the majority cannot discriminate against the minority, the minority should not be oversensitive to perceive bias in the majority.

It is my true belief that the “melting pot” of America will continue to help each and every one of us to judge a person by the content of their character and beliefs and not the color of their skin. It is really a completely illogical, irrational way of thinking to use skin tone as a difference between people. There is nothing innate about skin color that can have any relevance to a discussion about the merits of a human being. Most people realize this by now and I think we are getting there…

Unfortunately for some, the effects of decades of discrimination live on. Just watch this ABC News video that employs the same testing done for Brown v. Board of Education with modern day black youth:

Simple Justice | The Story of Brown v. Board of Education: The End of Separate But Equal in Schools

rabbifink — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 10:16:02 +0000

Last week I spoke at Pepperdine University about Jewish Lessons in Parenting. I began my talk by complimenting my parents and expressing my desire to emulate their parenting in the raising of my own children. One such example occurred today.

At Law School we are reading some of the most well-known Supreme Court Cases. A few weeks ago we read Roe v. Wade (banning 1st term abortion is unconstitutional) and the even more important Casey v. Planned Parenthood (upheld Roe) cases. Last week we read Plessy v. Ferguson (after Civil War, Separate but Equal schools were ruled constitutional).

This week we are reading Brown v. Board of Education. This case overruled Plessy and made Separate but Equal unconstitutional in Public Schools. Brown v. Board of Education paved the way for Civil Rights activists like Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. to fight for equal rights for all people in all areas of life, beyond public education.

As I was reading the case I remembered a very influential “Parenting” episode from my youth. Growing up, we did not watch many movies. I saw a few movies on TV, like E.T. and The Wizard of Oz but that was about it. But I vividly remember my father strongly encouraging me to watch one particular movie with him when I was twelve years old.

That movie was a PBS special called The American Experience: Simple Justice. It beautifully told the story of Thurgood Marshall as he learned the law and was groomed into the perfect counsel for the Supreme Court cases to reverse Plessy. The climax of the movie is the Supreme Court case of Brown v. Board of Education and the Court’s ruling that Separate but Equal was not constitutional.

My father wanted me to see it and I recall a strong desire to study the law and become a lawyer after watching it. My preferred career path took some detours along the way, but several years later my interest in the law returned in earnest.

Today, our professor at Loyola Law School, Marcy Strauss, showed the very same movie to the class in lieu of a more traditional lecture and Socratic discussion. All the memories I had as a youngster were re-energized and I was quite moved by the movie, again.

Brown v. Board of Education raises some very important issues that are still very relevant to modern discourse. In just 56 years, much has changed in the landscape of race relations in the USA. Some things are still the same, or at the very least follow the same bigoted roots. There are other minorities seeking equal rights as well. Sometimes, we can go overboard in our sensitivities as I will write about tomorrow. And sometimes, one part of the world can be slow to see that Separate cannot be Equal, as I will write about the next day.

This movie is a must see. My father was very wise to encourage me to see it and I will always remember watching it together with him. (Thank you.)

The part of the movie that moved me most when I was a youngster stuck with me until today. I was talking with some friends at school and I mentioned that while reading Brown v. Board of Education I recalled a scene from this very movie. I had no idea that we were going to be watching the movie in class. I recounted the scene as best as my 12 year old brain could understand it and it was just as I remembered it when I saw it tonight.

The scene is of a study that was being conducted to analyze the way segregated black children felt about themselves. The tester would ask questions of the children using dolls, one black and one white. The results of the test showed conclusively that black children felt inferior. The dramatization of the test was very powerful and I found it on youtube so that you can see it for yourself below.

“To a better tomorrow”

Family Outing to Huntington Gardens

rabbifink — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 00:11:03 +0000

We took the family on a Sunday trip to Pasadena to see the famous Huntington Gardens.

Esteemed Pacific Jewish Center, Board Member, Alan Lipman first told me about this landmark a few months back. He described Huntington Gardens as a place of natural beauty, educational value and cultural significance. I had been looking forward to seeing the gardens in person ever since then.

Yesterday, I discovered for myself that Huntington Gardens is a “must see” attraction in the Los Angeles area.

Henry E. Huntington was a very wealthy man living at the turn of the (previous) century. He amassed great wealth and spent much of his time and money cultivating a large library of rare book and manuscripts as well as valuable artwork from around the world. On his property, Huntington built botanical gardens of various locales and cultures.

The entire property was donated to the public as a place of education and natural beauty.

We began our day in the library. There is a Guttenberg Bible prominently displayed just as you enter the library. I am always amazed by old books. My grandfather, Sidney Greenwald, had a huge collection of antique Jewish books that I just loved to peruse and listen to him tell the tales of each volume. To a slightly lesser degree I enjoy old secular books and books from other religions, but in any case, I am always drawn in by old books. The Huntington Library is incredible. I saw a first edition copy of The Federalist, I saw a facsimile of the original copy of the 13th Amendment abolishing slavery that Huntington owned and I saw Aesop’s Fables hand written from the 14th century. Of course there were many others as well. I was also pleasantly surprised by my 6 year old’s budding interest in the antique books; “a chip off the old block”.

We moved on from the library to the Children’s Gardens. There we found a wonderful exhibit on all types of flora from various climates and conditions. The exhibit is extremely kid friendly and any grade school child will love experimenting and learning as much as our son.

Just outside the doors of the exhibit is the actual Childrens Gardens. With fountains, tunnels and quaint play areas there was plenty to see and to do. We already had enough fun to make the trip worthwhile.

Then we went to see the Chinese Gardens and take the beautiful walk from the Chinese Gardens to the Japanese Gardens. The gardens are magnificent. The landscapes, use of water and bridges as well as plant life made us feel as if we were walking in a royal garden in a castle somewhere. The views were breathtaking and inspired a lit of photography. I found some similar photos to ours online so you can get an idea for what we were enjoying.

Pretty incredible. One thing that I really loved was the rock garden in the Japanese Garden (see top photo). It was so Zen and peaceful it made we wishfully consider having a Zen rock garden in my back yard.

After the Chinese and Japanese Gardens we quickly walked through the art gallery. Our children were getting tired and we only spent a few moments in the gallery. Needless to say, the art gallery is home to some absolutely stunning pieces of artwork. I loved the landscapes. The attention to detail, while giving the eye a chance to appreciate the entire canvas is truly an art form within an art form.

We ended our outing with a walk through the Rose Gardens.

It was time for us to leave and yet we already knew that we would return sometime soon to see the Jungle Gardens, the Palm Gardens and to spend more time in the art gallery.

In a city of superficiality and make-believe, The Huntington Gardens stand out as a wholesome, educational, beautiful place to visit.

I strongly recommend making it part of your itinerary. Whether you live in Los Angeles and are looking for a Sunday day trip or are planning a Los Angeles Vacation, the Huntington Gardens must be on your list.

How Many Is Too Many?

rabbifink — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 20:55:44 +0000

This post has been cross-posted to DovBear – more discussion there.

An article on Ynet.com featured on VIN caught my ire this afternoon.

The writer, a woman, calls upon all Orthodox Jews to reject “the evil feminists” of Kolech and “have as many children as possible, as soon as possible”. For there is no greater joy in life than having many children.

Her arguments are weak (read it for yourself) and the ending says it all: “Trust me”. Why should I trust her?

As a proud father of 2 beautiful boys (a 6 year old and 8 month old) I can attest to the joys of parenthood. Giving the gift of life to one’s offspring is both very powerful and oftentimes emotional. I cannot imagine my life without my family.

I must take issue with this woman’s assertion that “the greatest gift we can give our families is a big family. Very big”.

In the VIN comments, there is a quote from R’ Shlomo Zalman Aurbach. When approached with a shaila regarding a woman who had 6 children and suffered a nervous breakdown for a heter to use birth control. His response, “why are you asking me, ask the Rav who gave her a heter to have 6 children in the first place!?”

Reb Moshe Feinstein writes in his Tshuvos that if the mother would suffer any physical, psychological or emotional harm from bearing more children she must use birth control.

Having a large family is not rooted in halacha. It is rooted in a social pressure to conform.

What has happened is the children of the “survivors” and that generation had a social calling to have large families. They were able to bear it (for the most part) with a low cost of living and 9-5 jobs, leaving time and money to spare. Enough to support many of those children in Kollel.

For many people pregnancy and childbirth as well as child rearing are difficult. For many families the cost of living is too high to support a large family. Work hours are long and the money does not go as far as it used to go.

Today’s society requires different approaches to life’s challenges from previous generations. The cost of living is higher. This forces most families to need a dual income. Who is going to raise these large families? What about the marriages? Husbands and wives who work full time, come home tired with children who need their time and attention. The idea of marriage in Judaism is to develop a relationship with a significant other. This cannot be ignored either!

Our schools are suffering from unprecedented deficits and budget cutting. Parents are having a hard time paying the tuition bills. Large families may be all of “your joy” but they can be an unfair burden on the tzibbur.

I am not calling for a “child cap” ala China. I am saying use your sechel and please don’t tell me what is good for you is good for everyone. Please don’t preach to me about what you think is right when it is not based on halacha.

Bitachon does not allow for recklessness. We cannot overburden ourselves or the system and expect bitachon to bail us out. There are children of large families who I know resented the lack of attention they received, the handouts they needed and the hustle and bustle of their busy homes. Those parents were likely ill equipped to deal with the large family dynamics and their children felt it.

Also, I happen to think that there are folks who have lots of kids to distract themselves from their unhappy lives, or their unhappy marriages (yes like a drug). Those folks need help. Not bigger families.

The Sales Pitch

rabbifink — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 19:23:30 +0000

This post is cross-posted to DovBear – more discussion there.

I read an important column on a good website yesterday.

It wasn’t on NYTimes.com or Yahoo.com or ESPN.com (some of my favorite sites to link from) this article was on Vosizneias.com. VIN is a Orthodox Jewish blog with editorials and news. I recommend checking it out when you have a chance.

The column I read was a great perpective on Baal Teshuvas and their integration into the Frum community. In particular the column focused on various reactions of the BT (I use the term adoringly) when encountered with other (supposedly) Frum Jews who are not living up to their own standards.

Some BTs “can’t handle the truth” and wind up right where they started – wonderful secular people. Other BTs are more adept at maintaining their Frum lifestyle despite the disappointment. The article then enumerates some of the great things that BTs have contributed to the Frum lifestyle. Like manners, healthy eating, special education, etc.

While there is room for debate on whether the Frum community can attribute these “innovations” to BTs I am happy to give them the credit.

The article concludes by thanking the Frum community for showing them a way of life they love and appreciate.

I have two main points that I want to make in relation to this article.

1- The fake sales pitch the Frum From Birth Kiruv Rabbis spew.

2- The BTs reaction to the reality check.

I cannot stand the sales pitch that Frum people have no problems and Torah life is free from all social ills. It is simply not accurate. Please don’t use it!

In fact, the Torah is a guidebook for flawed people. If people were able to just become perfect then the Torah would give us one time instructions to “fix” our flaws and then we would be good to go! But instead, the Torah gives us instructions to develop our character through Mitzva observance with specific tasks. Some tasks only come around once in a lifetime, or once every 50 years, or once every seven years, or once a year, or once a month, once a week, once a day, and even every second. The clear message is that we need constant work because humans will eventually fall.

The Talmud explicitly states: “Do not believe in yourself (righteousness) until the day you die”. The human being is designed to fail without constant work and guidance.

I believe the honest sales pitch (and yes it is a sales pitch and that’s okay) is: Humans are flawed, we all need guidance, the Torah provides guidance. Some of it is obvious, some of it is hidden, but we believe that the Torah lifestyle is a guide for life. If you want a guide, you can buy in. We are all trying to use the guide as best as we can and we feel our lives are more enriched by using the guide. Maybe you will too.

Perhaps more important is the reaction of the BT. I sent this email to Judd Magilnick, a Pacific Jewish Center board member and he offered some great insight.

First, many “not yet” BTs back off from greater commitment by rationalizing that they saw a Frum person who lacked derech eretz (common courtesy). Judd says this is the Yetzer Hara talking but Frum folks need to realize that they are being judged and should act accordingly.

I once heard that R’ Moshe Feinstein asked why we ask in Ahava Rabba that Hashem give us the ability to understand, listen to and teach Torah. Should the teaching part be reserved for teachers and rabbis? Why does veryone say it? And R’ Moshe answers that we are all teachers. We are teaching others about how the Torah wants us to behave every time we act.

Judd’s next point was even better. Why should an impious Frum person affect one’s opinion of Torah? The analogy is if one sticks his wet finger in a socket he is going to get a shock. That doesn’t indicate a flaw in elecricity! And like electricity Torah has the power to do great good and it also has the power to cause ill. It depends on its user.

So (potential) BTs, if you can use Torah for good why would you let it bother you that someone else is abusing it? One has nothing to do with the other!

As a Rabbi in shul of mostly BTs and potential BTs I hear this kind of rhetoric often. “If he’s a Frum person he shouldn’t do X or Y etc”. It is disheartening but I have one response.

I always quote Rabbi Wein: “Don’t judge Judaism by its Jews”.

Additionally, I don’t pitch anything other that learning more Torah and experiencing a Shabbos meal. One should make their personal decisions based on an informed view that can only come from one’s own study. The Shabbos meal is just to make it a little more personal and less abstract. That’s all.

So, I am looking for insight, do people really judge Torah by its Jews?

Is there an “accurate” (non-cynical) sales pitch?

Anything else in the original column that struck you?

Summer Reading

rabbifink — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 14:24:43 +0000

During the summer months many people find some extra time to catch up on their reading. By reading, I mean books with paper, ink, covers and turning pages. I don’t mean on a backlit display plugged into an electrical outlet.

This summer, I have been too busy to do any real substantive offline reading. I have done a lot of online reading, but my book reading has fallen behind.

One exception has been DovBear on the Parsha, and you can read my review here.

Part of the reason for this is that in my “spare time” I usually end up reading up on Law School materials. I actually enjoy reading cases and Law Review articles, so my reading of other stuff has fallen a bit behind.

There is plenty of summer left and I thought it would be nice to provide some of my all time favorite reads and a quick note about why I like each book.

Click the title of the book to purchase on Amazon.

Please feel free to add your favorites, especially if you see my faves and think I would like your suggestions.

Jewish Books

The Committed Life by Esther Jungreis

Written for Observant Jews and anyone else, the quintessential Rebbetzin Jungreis weaves together stories of commitment and dedication to life, love and spirituality. I confess to crying throughout the book and if you have an emotional side, this book will speak to you.

Letters to a Buddhist Jew by Akiva Tatz

A series of letters between an expert in Jewish philosiphy and conservative Jew practicing Buddhism. The book compares and contrasts many of the overlapping features of both cultures shedding new light on both traditions.

What the Angel Taught You by Rabbi Noach Weinberg and Yaakov Salomon

A book of Reb Noach Weinberg’s wisdom on life, happiness and achieving one’s goals. The book is humorous, thoughtful and practical.

Frameworks by Rabbi Matis Weinberg

Rabbi Matis Weinberg’s series on Torah is simply incredible. Full lenght essays on important topics highlighted by side notes citing sources from Shakespeare to “The Zen Art Of Motorcycle Maintenance”. Each essay provides new deep ideas and is worth the effort needed to really understand the point. All volumes are superb, I have linked my favorite, Exodus.

Non-Fiction Books

Blink by Malcolm Gladwell

Really all of Gladwell’s books are superb. Blink is my favorite because it applies to all of us. We are all experts in something and understanding how we can analyze things quickly and effectively gives us confidence in our decisions. Buy this book!

The World Is Flat by Thomas Friedman

A (slowly becoming outdated, but continually being updated) analysis of the rise of the information age. From the first personal computers to blogging, the book puts all the advances of the last two decades into a neat package. I found the book to be very important to understanding our era as a participant and as a parent!

Moneyball by Michael Lewis

I love sports and I love business. This book melds the two and shows how statistics can mean more or less than they appear to mean. Also, it helps the average sports fan understand a lot of the behind the scenes of baseball.

Semi-Non-Fiction

Busting Vegas by Ben Mezrich

The compelling story of a Jewish MIT grad who took Vegas for millions of dollars in a few short years playing blackjack. A rare insight into genius minds, the greed of Vegas and the fine line between cheating and “gaining a competitive edge”. I am no gambler, but then again after you read this book you will see that these guys were not gambling either. They knew they were going to win. WARNING: Adults only. Some material is not appropriate.

Fiction

The Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom

A charming book that makes us think about the small things in life. Moving and inspirational, this book is a super read.

A Separate Peace " target="_blank"> by John Knowles

My favorite book. This book is a parable about the male teenage years. Various events and reactions in the book give rise to situations we all can relate to our own lives. With piercingly sharp quotes and messages this book is timeless.

Farenheit 451 " target="_blank"> by Ray Bradbury

A book about the “future” where thoughts are managed and controlled by a government opposed to reading. Some of the awful predictions in the book have come true. If you haven’t read this book, it is about time you did.

To Kill a Mockingbird " target="_blank"> by Harper Lee

The most popular book of Lawyers and Law Students everywhere. The story of discrimination, a good lawyer’s fight against a corrupt society and the innocence of children.

The Partner " target="_blank"> by John Grisham

I am not a huge Grisham fan but of his books that I have read this book is the one that I liked best. I won’t spoil it by telling you why I loved it, but after you read it send me an email and we can talk about it!

If you have read any of these or any more recommendations – leave a comment!

Speak Up! Economic Crisis Hitting Jewish Day Schools

rabbifink — Mon, 18 May 2009 03:11:38 +0000

I blogged a little while back about the pinch being felt in Jewish Day School and Yeshivas.

The LA Times must be reading my blog because they finally caught on to this growing problem. Today I read about the familiar names in our Los Angeles Jewish community who are suffering budget crises.

Is there hope for our schools? Is it possible to sustain a system that requires such tremendous financial commitment from its families?

Last time I reiterated the Torah’s priorities for charity. Charity for Torah education is pretty near the top of the list. It is above non-education communal needs. Unfortunately, the public does not keep these priorities. I think this could help the situation tremendously but I know there is a lot more that could be done.

Tuition costs are nearing $10k for elementary school children and are significantly higher for high-school and secondary education. The cost are astronomical and aside from the schools failing financially, some parents are having a very difficult time staying afloat economically.

I want to harness the power of the web to try and solve this problem.

What do you think?

Is there a solution?

Can this sysem be saved?

Do you have a better system?

Active Learning

rabbifink — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 21:54:16 +0000

In the last week I have read two articles in the NY Times that echo similar sentiments. I am proud to say that both of these sentiments are understood and utilized in the Yeshiva system.

The first (earlier) article talks about the 4 R’s – wait I thought there were only 3 R’s reading, writing and arithmetic – the fourth R is recess. I blogged about recess once before. I am on the case again today.

It seems that generally educators looked at recess as a necessary evil. It would inhumane to corral children in stuffy classrooms for 8 hours a day with no break so we are forced to provide some time for recess. Research shows a different attitude.According to the article, recess actually helps children learn. Not only does it help children learn about life and improve social skills, recess also help promote classroom learning. This is due to some nifty science which if you are interested in reading click here.

This means that recess is a tool for learning. This is the same attitude that Yeshivas employ. Really, all of Judaism employs this idea. We use our downtime as tools to improve our up time. We eat to live, we rest to be awake and we play to invigorate our minds. Recess is not a necessary evil. Recess is a necessary tool for good learning.

This comes back to the central idea that nothing is good or evil (similar to this post). Our world is full of tools. We choose how they are to be used. This gives them good or evil status for the action for which we have used them.

Which brings us to the second (more recent) article. If you go to most large Yeshivas you will see students studying from text across or next to a study partner. The book is usually on a table or more commonly on a device called a “shtender”.

Why do they use shtenders? Because it gives your body more freedom and this will help the mind to focus. They just figured this out in Minnesota.

In Minnesota classrooms, students are given tables that give the student the ability to sit or stand. “Teacher are seeing positive things”. Well of course they are. After years of suffering from behind desks it is time to set the students free. Not entirely free, but it is great to let students sit or stand depending on their mood and preference.

It is great to see schools fiddling with the status quo to find better, more efficient ways of learning. More recess and more freedom of movement in class are ancient Jewish ideas. They will only help the U.S. Public School Systems.

Tough Times for Private Schools and Yeshivas

rabbifink — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 16:27:31 +0000

My father is the Dean of a Jewish girls private school in New York. It is a girls Yeshiva called Ateres Bais Yaakov. The government provides no funding to run the school however there is grant money as well as some other federal and state programs which contribute to the school’s bottom line. The bulk of the budget is set off by tuition and donations. Last week my father told me about the recent economic situation’s effect on his school.

It has been on my mind since then. Today the Wall Street Journal has an article detailing the current pinch for private schools and their parents.

In the observant Jewish community nearly every single child is enrolled in private school (Yeshiva). This pinch is being felt more and more in our community. Tuition is a lot of money and when times are tough tuition takes a back seat. This in turn has an unsettling effect on the schools.

Times are tough for everyone. When times are tough there is less money for the non-profits, charities, synagogues and private education institutions. We need to be more careful with how our charity monies are allotted. There is a specific order by which the Torah teaches us to give tzedakah (charity). We are told that our primary obligation is to our close relatives. The next level of obligation is to Torah Scholars and the institutions that teach Torah. Yeshivas is certainly in this category. After this we look to further relatives, residents of your city and then residents of Jerusalem and then the rest of Israel. Then and only then are we to give for communal needs.

Unfortunately for most people who do have the funds to give charity they don’t follow these Halachic guidelines. People like to give to cool and exotic charities before they give to their Yeshivas. Sometimes at the expense of taking a cut in tuition so that they can give charity to places that are lower on the Tzedaka totem pole. This is wrong. Our Torah institutions are the basis of our entire community. These institutions cannot make it without our donations. We cannot forgo them and give charity to other projects so long as they are suffering.

Please remember the halachic precedence for charity giving and help our local Torah institutions navigate these difficult waters of our troubled economic times. You will be fulfilling the mitzva of Tzedaka in its proper function.

I cannot criticize the Jewish people for their incredible philanthropy and history of charity giving. Actions speak louder than any words. Tzedaka is a basic tenet of Judaism and is observed by almost all Jews regardless of level of observance. I am constantly amazed at the sheer number of public service and kindness organizations within the Jewish community that survive on charity alone. We all give charity. But we all want to do it right. Right?