Pacific Jewish Center | Rabbi » baseball

There's No Crying In Baseball (nor is there teshuva)

rabbifink — Thu, 03 Jun 2010 20:52:11 +0000

One of the most famous lines in any movie is uttered by the inimitable Jimmy Dugan, played by Tom Hanks in a League of Their Own. Dugan says to a player of his who is crying (and happens to be a woman) that “There’s no crying in baseball”.

I’ve made a censored version of the video and embedded it below if you have no idea what I am talking about.

I’ve never quite understood why there is no crying in baseball, nor why this line is so famous. It doesn’t even make any sense to me. And yet, here we are. Everyone knows there’s no crying in baseball and no one knows why.

Try telling Jim Joyce and Armando Galarraga that there is no crying in baseball.

Yesterday, Galarraga was one out away from Baseball Lore. He had pitched to 26 batters and sent each one of those batters back to the dugout. He was one out from the 21st (recorded) Perfect Game in Major League Baseball History. Then this happened:

Click here to see the debacle unless you’ve already seen the play. (I would embed the video but ESPN has disabled embedding for that clip and MLB does not allow embedding of their videos and they take all youtube.com videos down, you know, God forbid, people would share baseball videos and expand their fandom…)

To explain: The 27th batter was out. The umpire called him safe. He apologized. But he was tearful. WHAT? THERE’S NO CRYING IN BASEBALL!

Anyway, I am not here to talk about crying. I am here to talk about fixing mistakes.

Major League Baseball reviewed the play and agreed that it was an erroneous call.

So they should just fix it right? Call the 27th batter out and give Galarraga his perfect game.

Sorry. No can do. If a human error decides a game or denies someone their place in history it is too late. There is nothing that can be done.

Art imitates life. So does sport. When we make a mistake in life there is nothing we can do to undo the mistake. There is no crtl-z (cmd-z for us mac people), there is no instant replay and reversals. We live with our decisions.

One would expect that to be the same way a Divine Being would treat mankind. If you act, you suffer the consequences. Perhaps there may some mercy or amnesty, but your actions are still done. They cannot be undone.

In Judaism there is a concept called Teshuva. This is often mistranslated as “repentance”. That is not teshuva. Teshuva is return. Going through the process of teshuva one can return to the exact spot they were at before the act. It is a true return. The physical act is done and cannot be undone. But the spiritual effects of the action can be undone with teshuva.

Unfortunately, there is no crying in baseball and there is no teshuva in baseball either.

Tom Hanks as Jimmy Dugan in “A League of Their Own”.

Parenting: Unconditional Love

rabbifink — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 18:28:14 +0000

Parenting has been on my mind lately.

Earlier today I posted about Kim Clijsters and the sacrifices of working mothers.

It must be the impending Rosh Hashana that is influencing these thoughts of parents and children.

Parenting is tough job. There are no vacations. There is no financial remuneration. It is oftentimes thankless.

Also we are so clueless as to how to parent. Babies don’t come with a handy manual or set of instructions. The questions all parents have are endless.

To punish or not? When to compliment? To be honest with our children about their shortcomings? I always think about Simon Cowell asking some terrible “singer” if anyone ever told them that they are just not talented. And then they cut to that parents telling their kid how great they are. No one wants to be that parent.

There was a very popular article in the NY Times about parenting this week. The article explains, based on a study by 2 Israeli researchers, that conditional love can be just as harmful to children as punishment. Meaning, when a parent only doles out love for their child when the child performs as the parent expects the affect on the child is the same as punishing the child when the parent disapproves of the child’s behavior. The child may accomplish more, but will ultimately feel resentment, anxiety and feel unhappy.

The proper way to love one’s children is unconditionally.

Love is not a tool that we wield to bend the child into submission. Every child needs the love of its parents. Always.

This is a message we can take into Rosh Hashana. It is true that it is a day of judgment and that can give us reason to pause and be fearful of our verdict. There is a Judge and there is judgment.

We have one saving grace. The Judge is our Father.

The relationship that we have with God is the same as the relationship that a parent has with a child. Unconditional love.

When it comes to our moment of judgment in the heavenly court we know that we are unconditionally loved by our Father in Heaven no matter how far we may strayed from His path. Just remember that our Father is waiting for us with a warm embrace.

Children that feel unconditionally loved have less problems feeling accepted later in life. Unconditional love is the greatest gift a parent can provide for their children. Sometimes it may seem hard when children frustrate us.

A great video has been circling the internet the last couple of days.

The video really illustrates what I have been saying in this post. Even when our children frustrate us, we must love them unconditionally. Even if we “frustrate” God, He has a warm embrace for us. He is our father.

The father in this video looks like he is about to get frustrated with his daughter. Then he embraces her.

Perfect imagery for this post. Enjoy.

Two side points:

1 – Great catch by the day. Just wow. I am impressed. As they say in Baltimore – “Give that fan a contract!”.

2 – She threw the ball back on the field because the Phillies fans throw the ball back whenever a non-Phillies player hits a home run. She saw this and copied. Kids see all. And they copy what their parents do. Keep that in mind.

Manny Being Manny | Some 'Gladwellian' Insight

rabbifink — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 21:35:49 +0000

This is Manny. Manny Ramirez.

Believe it or not, Manny is one of the greatest right handed hitters in Baseball history. He is also a 2 time World Series Champion and 1 time World Series MVP. Manny was also recently suspended from baseball for 50 games for violating the league’s Substance Abuse Policy when he tested positive for a substance used to hide performance enhancing drug use.

In other words, he cheated. And yet, he is adored and loved, cheered and ballyhooed. Why?

You don’t need to be a baseball fan to continue reading.

The public’s reaction is more confusing when juxtaposed with the public reaction to other substance abusers.

Barry Bonds (nothing has ever been proved), Roger Clemens, Mark McGuire, Rafael Palmeiro, Sammy Sosa are other big names in baseball who are hated and booed wherever they go for their cheating. What gives?

Why are we so nice to Manny and so mean to everyone else who cheated?

One of my favorite authors is Malcolm Gladwell. Previously, I have had quite a few Gladwell posts (check those out) on this blog. This is another.

In “Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking” (which I highly recommend and you can purchase here) Gladwell compares Doctors who get sued for malpractice and Doctors who do not get sued for malpractice for the same exact types of misdiagnosis or poor treatment. Gladwell found that doctors who do not get sued have one common thread.

They are liked.

Gladwell found that patients who could sue for malpractice would not sue if they liked the doctor. They would say “He is such a nice man, I could never sue him”. In fact my wife’s grandmother has a cause of action against a doctor of hers and she says (insert Holocaust survivor European accent) “Oh, I could never sue him, he a wonderful doctor”. I asked her if he is so wonderful how did he screw up so bad? She says “oh, it was a mistake, he tried his best”. You could still sue you know… “Oh, I could never…”.

And so it is in life. People who are liked sometimes get a pass. People who are disliked are criticized at every turn. Barry Bonds is ornery and cantankerous, Roger Clemens is conceited and condescending, Sammy Sosa is disingenuous and a fraud and Manny Ramirez is a self deprecating, fun loving, caricature of himself.

When Manny makes a mistake, we can forgive him because he is such a great guy. Manny jokes about himself. Manny apologizes. Manny is lovable and that’s why we can forgive him.

Gladwell hits another home run.

The message for us is simple and easy to see. Being nice and friendly to others can go a long way. When people act positively toward one another their flaws are hidden. We don’t notice or care about the other person’s deficiencies as much when they are nice.

We all want to be liked. We all want to be appreciated. A smile, a hello, a friendly guesture or act of kindness goes a very long way to helping others see the best in us.

There is something we can learn from Manny. (No, it is not okay to cheat). We can learn that a good disposition can make a big difference in how people look at us. Let’s try and make the world a friendlier place. Let’s try and help others see the best in us.

In this respect – let’s be a little more like Manny.