One Excellent Article From Klal Perspectives Fall 2012 on Kiruv

by rabbifink on December 20, 2012 · 34 comments

270209_reachingoutWe’ve covered Klal Perspectives here before. I think we will follow the same format as we did last time. I am going to highlight the one good article that I read in the journal in this post. Hopefully next week I will write my response to the Questions in this Klal Perspectives issue.

For those unfamiliar with Klal Perspectives, here is the intro from my post on the previous issue:

Klal Perspectives is a great journal of articles written by orthodox Jewish rabbis and writers. The difference between Klal Perspectives and other journals is basically the content. KP is not a halacha journal. It is a practical journal.

The articles are not about well researched, fine nuances of Jewish law. The articles are about the issues that the orthodox community is facing and how to deal with them. Because the articles are not academic, they appeal to more people and more people are capable of writing articles for the journal. In a pleasing development, several articles have been authored by women. Lay-people are also featured as writers.

The issue being handled in this issue is Kiruv. The questions are pretty specific but the goal is to discuss “varying approaches to outreach currently being pursued, and the appropriateness of the current allocation of communal resources as among these alternative strategies and focuses.”

The journal does not agree upon a definition for the word Kiruv but I think they generally define it as bringing non-orthodox Jews to mitzvah observance.

Honestly, the responses that I read were pretty depressing. The articles did not really answer the questions that they were asked to answer. This is somewhat typical of Kiruv in general, as the entire field is not really very into using data and statistics. There were barely any footnotes in the articles I read. To me, this means that the writers are writing from their hearts and minds, but not from a place of hard data. That’s fine, but it is qualitatively different than well researched writing. Most of the articles I read sounded more like sermons, or divrei Torah than journal articles. That’s also fine, but I think that reflects poorly on the Kiruv field. Yet, it rings true to my ears, in the sense that the Kiruv profession, for better or worse, is not really about data, numbers, efficiency of resources, or other more modern metrics.

None of the articles I read actually discussed the issues of proving God’s existence or the veracity of the Torah. One article acknowledged the challenges of Biblical Criticism, but said nothing about how to meet the challenge. It’s almost as if the Kiruv professionals who wrote articles are not aware that belief in God and Torah from Sinai is not as easy as it sounds. Perhaps, the reason Kiruv seems to be floundering is because we can’t get past first base!

One article stood out. Rabbi Ilan Feldman wrote more about the orthodox Jewish community than about Kiruv per se, but his observations are right on the money.

His basic point is that the success of orthodox Judaism actually harms Kiruv. Our communities are large, intimidating, and have become focused on observance above being what he calls “model communities”. We are more careful about chumros and precision in halacha and hashkafa that it detracts from our appeal. Further, our success permits untrue stereotypes about our non-orthodox comrades to develop and reach levels of acceptance that they are considered normal.

Rabbi Feldman relates a powerful story about the time he joined a mission of Federation style Jews (read = non-orthodox) as a way of trying to build a bridge between the respective communities. Throughout the trip he had to make many sacrifices and concessions all while not getting offended by the ignorance of orthodox Judaism exhibited throughout the trip. By the end of the trip his trip-mates warmed up to him and they had great conversations while getting to know each other pretty well. He felt that he was successful in dispelling many of the unfair or erroneous assumptions about orthodox Judaism by going on the trip.

This is not an unfamiliar script. It happens all the time. But the part that hit home for me, and elicited a tear in the corner of my eye was this:

But the one who was most transformed on that trip was me.

What I expected to encounter was a group of 200 Jews devoid of feelings for Israel or religion. What I discovered instead were 200 very religious, spiritual, passionately devoted, proud Jews who knew very little about Torah and who lacked a Jewish vocabulary, but who loved their Jewish brethren in Israel, respected holiness and possessed a passion for Judaism as they knew it that rivaled the passion I had seen in my frum friends. In short, I learned to respect them. And I learned that “secular” Jews are often very religious Jews who do not know ritual, and whose devotion and willingness to sacrifice for the Judaism they do know is inspiring. By the time we parted ways, I actually loved them. Once I made this discovery, I was both surprised and embarrassed that it was new to me.

Wow.

In my opinion, this is so true. In some orthodox circles, the non-orthodox are heathen, God hating, anti-Semites. This is a lie. Maybe part of why Kiruv has become so hard is because they know what we think of them…

Rabbi Feldman then returns to the point about our communities focusing more on observance than being models. When combined with our arrogance about our own observance our ignorance about non-orthodox Jews creates this:

Picture an emotionally and financially secure, successful, well-educated head of household who lives in a world in which wisdom is respected, volunteering over the weekend is considered a wonderful way to spend one’s time, wholesome family activities on Saturday afternoon are seen as a healthy way of building character. Ask him to join a world in which routine Shabbos-table talk argues in favor of Torah by disparaging secular wisdom, in which political candidates are assessed purely on selfish concerns of the religious community, with little concern for their impact on broader society. Not only is this sort of talk distinctly unattractive, it is not the talk of giants; it obscures the sense of responsibility, compassion and awe for G-d’s children that Avraham Avinu left as his legacy to his descendants.

Again. Wow.

But it is true. Orthodox Jews are led to believe that non-orthodox Jews and non-Jews are flailing about in the God-forsaken secular world. They are up the creek without a paddle. If only they would see the beauty of orthodox Judaism, they would be like thirsty camels drinking from the cool waters of our oasis of Torah. But that’s not the way it is. People are doing just fine without religion, and we are not always doing just fine with religion. We need to change how we view them and more importantly we need to change ourselves.

Rabbi Feldman offers a hopeful alternative vision.

Orthodox Jews would be sufficiently secure with their own Yiddishkeit to invite their neighbors and co-workers to their homes, because the language of fear will have been replaced by a language of connection and confidence. Orthodox Jews would lead lives of idealism that extend beyond their own religious needs, inevitably becoming role models and attractive examples of lifestyle to non-observant Jews. Families will make life decisions informed by the religious needs of Klal Yisrael, not exclusively their own. Young couples will be recognized as an invaluable resource in a battle for the spiritual lives of all Jews, and will be encouraged to choose where to reside based upon where their presence would most greatly enhance Judaism, rather than merely their own religious comforts.

Because Orthodoxy would authentically and profoundly respect people, Orthodox community leaders would develop a reputation for selfless devotion to the good of the broader community, rather than solely parochial interests. For example, communal leadership will be invested in ensuring strong public schools in their neighborhoods, even though their own constituencies attend only yeshivas.

Notice the subtle criticism of the orthodox establishment? I honestly think this criticism is spot on. But there is hope. In Rabbi Feldman’s opinion, with the proper attitudes in place, we become a more attractive destination for passionate Judaism among the non-orthodox. I agree. This is what it would look like:

Non-observant Jews will be welcomed by their frum neighbors in both large frum communities as well as in evolving frum neighborhoods, and frum Jews will be more than welcome into their neighborhoods by the non-Orthodox, eruv and all, because Orthodox people would be known to be ideal neighbors: friendly, non-judgmental, and interested in the needs of others.

We can dream, right?

Link: Klal Perspectives, Rabbi Feldman’s Article

  • http://twitter.com/jonathan_meola Jonathan Meola

    Good points – and not surprising, considering the source. Many communities in the US could learn from Toco Hills/Atlanta in this regard…

  • tesyaa

    It’s very hard for the Orthodox Jew to admit that non-Orthodox Jews are doing fine with their lesser level of ritual observance. The Orthodox Jew sacrifices so much time and money to ritual. There must be a commensurate benefit, right?

    And even if the Orthodox Jew sees fulfilled, committed non-Orthodox Jew, he can still feel superior since he (supposedly) doesn’t have to worry about his kids intermarrying.

    It’s sad, but probably human nature, that people need to look down on others to feel better about themselves (though I think chazal caution against this mindset).

  • Shragi

    Can we dream of having chareidi rabbis who don’t encourage couples to get divorced rather than talk to an MO rabbi? Or is that beyond the realm of possibility?

    • http://finkorswim.com E. Fink

      Indeed…

    • kweansmom

      Charedi rabbis encourage couples to get divorced?

      • Shragi

        In the case I’m referring to, yes that’s exactly what happened.

  • kman

    Sounds like you didn’t read R’ Butler and R’ Edelstein responses which did include hard data. And of course you like the one article which bashes the frum community. It reflects your disdain for said community.

    • Shragi

      I read R’ Edelstein’s response; I didn’t notice any hard data, only explanations for why hard data is hard to obtain, he even says that after spending thousands of hours looking over hard data all he had to show for it is a headache.

    • http://finkorswim.com E. Fink

      I read Rabbi Edelstein’s article. It was not good at all. If you want me to tell why I didn’t like it, I can.

      I started Rabbi Butler’s but it didn’t really catch my interest.

      You completely misread everything about me. I love the frum community and I want it to be successful. My disdain is for xenophobia, arrogance, and insularity. Rabbi Feldman is not bashing the frum community, he is saying that in order to do outreach properly we need to fix our flaws.

      Do you disagree with any of the flaws he discussed?

      • kman

        Of course the flaws he and you discuss exist in the community. The frum community today and since time immemorial has had serious flaws. The difference is that productive people acknowledge flaws yet try to work from within and correct the issues, while accentuating and building on the many positives that do exist (Which R’ Feldman does do quite well). While the bloggers like you constantly bash and seem to enjoy pointing out every negative that there is. But you love the frum world. I’m sure some of your best friends are….

        To paraphrase Winston Churchill (I believe), our frum community is the worst community out there, except every other community around.

        • Shragi

          Who decides when the honorific “blogger” is applied? I mean, isn’t Klal Perspectives a blog?

        • Daniel Rubin

          “The difference is that productive people acknowledge flaws yet try to work from within and correct the issues.”

          Do you think this goes on in the frum community?

          • kman

            Depends which subset within the community you are talking about. I don’t know for sure, but it appears that the chassidishe and ultra Yeshivish do not acknowledge flaws to the public (though they do to some extent among themselves) while the rest of the frum world has started to acknowledge flaws very much over the last 20 years. Sometimes they are hyper self critical.

            • Daniel Rubin

              Yeah, well, we’re clearly talking about the Yeshivish community here. That’s whom Klal Perspectives is addressed to.

              • kman

                Daniel, I don’t mean to be rude but you proved my point. I distinguished between the chassidishe/ultra Yeshivish (i.e. Briskers) which don’t discuss their problems publicly and most certainly don’t read Klal Perspectives and the rest of the frum world which may be open to reading it. You replied, “we’re clearly talking about the Yeshivish community here.” The frum world, even the yeshivish community is not monolithic, yet bloggers tend to brush us all with the same stroke and that is really frustrating. That is why I attacked (perhaps too strongly) R’ Fink.

        • http://finkorswim.com E. Fink

          You say that I constantly bash the frum community. There are nearly 1000 posts on this blog. How many bash the frum community? Do you think that maybe you are exaggeration here?

          It would be like me saying that YOU constantly bash me!

          • kman

            I am sorry if I am overstating things but it seems that most times I come to this blog or where I see it referenced somewhere else, it is negative towards our community.
            Eli, blogs, writers, etc gain a reputation and take on a certain persona. They also attract a certain type of commentator. Yours is that of those who look to see mostly bad and I think it is a shame. Maybe that is for other bloggers, but it should be beneath you.

            • http://finkorswim.com E. Fink

              Maybe you should read this blog every day. Then you won’t be biased by such a small sample size.

            • http://finkorswim.com E. Fink

              You have no idea who reads this blog. You don’t see my inbox. You don’t have a clue about the commenters here or on Facebook.

      • Rachel

        R. Fink, I must agree with Kman. I have been following your blog for some time and it is patently and consistently anti the haredi community, i.e. anyone to the right of “modern orthodoxy”. The title of this post is an excellent case in point. “One Excellent Article in Klal Perspectives.” There are almost 20 essays in that journal – and only one is excellent? Seventeen haredi rabbis and layleaders put out a journal and only one of them can write a good article?! That doesn’t say much for haredi leadership. A more neutral title would have been “An Excellent Article in Klal Perspectives” – a title which highlights the article you proceed to discuss without knocking the rest of them. Though I do not know the criteria you employed in evaluating this “excellent” article, I am certain that among them is severe criticism of haredim.

        You are certainly correct in your disdain for “xenophobia, arrogance, and insularity,” but your remarkable ability to notice those traits in the haredi community alone when in reality they exist everywhere is a clear indication of your disdain for the community.

        • http://finkorswim.com E. Fink

          @1bd373dcf910f6a236c99db38c8ed7be:disqus If you agree with Kman, maybe you can provide the data to support Kman’s assertion. Please find the posts to prove that I patently and consistently write anti-haredi blog posts. Better, just name the more recent post that fits that description. Thanks.

        • http://finkorswim.com E. Fink

          To reply to your actual point: Did you read the journal? Which article did you like? Provide an alternative view, don’t just argue without a reason. And I explained why I liked this article. It was honest and rings true. Frum Jews look so far down upon non-frum Jews (IN GENERAL) that it makes it impossible to do any kiruv.

  • Daniel Rubin

    In my experience, it’s more than even a cultural divide. It’s not just a matter of being conditioned, culturally, to believe that the non-observant lead empty lives. Nor is it just a matter of the frum Jew forcing oneself to believe he leads the fulfilled life to justify the demands he puts on himself (or subjects himself to).

    Rather, I vividly recall being taught in Yeshiva, in explicit terms, that “their” lives are empty. That they look happy, but they are not. That they pursue pleasures to distract themselves from their dreary, worthless existence. While we, who toil day and night in Torah, are the only ones experiencing true joy.

    It sounds silly, but when you hear it day in, day out, during your teenage years, it starts
    to sink in. Even if you don’t totally buy it with your frontal lobe, your inner self believes it.

    So when that type of instruction informs your spiritual development, what hope is there to
    relate to a non-observant person? Reaching out to him, or even refraining from looking down at him, becomes nearly impossible.

    • http://finkorswim.com E. Fink

      I’m pretty sure that Rabbi Feldman is suggesting we move away from that kind of chinuch.

      • Daniel Rubin

        The words “good luck” leap to mind and do a jig there for a while.

        • http://finkorswim.com E. Fink

          If no one writes it then it certainly won’t happen.

          • Daniel Rubin

            This is true.

        • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=509509604 Shlomo Pill

          A suggestion to move towards a different tone in chinuch has a lot more effect when you are the Mara D’asrah of one of the closest models of a kehilla currently extant in the U.S. – he is the Rav of Beth Jacob, but also has incredible influence in what is done in the elementary school and girls high school that are very closely tied to Beth Jacob, are staffed and run by Beth Jacob members.

  • http://www.facebook.com/kelly.milotay Kelly Smith Milotay

    He’s spot on.I live in a community where my family is one of a handful of shomer shabbat Jews. This is the term I use. Most Jews in my community aren’t “non-observant”. They take very seriously the bein adam l’chaveiro mitzvot and they are perfectly happy in their observances. They are far from ignorant.

    A kiruv professional who spent an extended amount of time here once remarked that the Jews here just don’t want to push themselves to grow. Au contraire. They are growing – according to their own beliefs and practices. The idea that the Torah is not exactly directly from Sinai is considered mainstream here. Ergo, why bother with super-strict beliefs? They simply have a different view of the world and their place in it. Also, many are intermarried which presents a whole host of other issues.

    In any case, I’m told the February 2013 edition of Rabbi Angel’s journal Conversations is centered around the topic of Bible Criticism. FYI.

  • MarkSoFla

    In my opinion, this is so true. In some orthodox circles, the non-orthodox are heathen, God hating, anti-Semites. This is a lie. Maybe part of why Kiruv has become so hard is because they know what we think of them…

    Another reason that kiruv is so hard is because of a different set of lies. Lies both of commission (the silly proofs, medrash as truth, etc) and of omission (not letting kiruv candidates know that the \”required\” items for acceptance in the frum community are likely to bankrupt them, or at least near-bankrupt them).

  • Adam Kenigsberg

    I have no idea what religious community Rabbi Feldman is describing; but it isn\’t any kind of Orthodox Jewish community I\’ve ever seen.

    Who doesn\’t invite non-frum Jews into their homes? Who doesn\’t live a life of \”connection\” and \”confidence\” ?

    Who is Xenophobic?

    If there are such communities, they are by definition not shomrei mitzvot – since khesed, dveikus, and ahavas yisrael are all required by halakha.

    If there are such communities, it sounds like THEY need kiruv.

  • Gary

    As per AP Stylebook, it is Orthodox Jew (capital O).

    • http://finkorswim.com E. Fink

      I disagree. This is my protest. Orthodox Jew should not e a different thing than Jew. To me, orthodox merely describes one aspect of a Jew.

  • Gitta Zarum

    What has always bothered me is that one is called an ‘Orthodox’ Jew even if one keeps only the mitzvot bein adam vehaMakom, but not if one keeps only the mitzvot bein adam ve’adam.

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