What follows is a guest post written by my illustrious grandmother. Readers of this blog will remember her from here: This Blog Post is in Honor of (one of) My Incredibly Accomplished Grandmother(s). As I mentioned in my post about Rebbetzin Weinberg (Rebbetzin Chana Weinberg, Of Blessed Memory), my grandmother was a close friend of the rebbetzin. As a favor to me, and now all of you, she has shared some first hand insight on this incredible woman.
Today marked the end of Shiva for Rebbetzin Chana Weinberg. The Shiva house resounded to the stories told by the many people whose lives had been touched by Rebbetzin Chana Weinberg. She was larger than life and as people shared their anecdotes and memories it became obvious that none of us knew the full extent of her many faceted life. She was brilliant, mesmerizing and her stock in trade was she would not take no for an answer. She was a gifted teacher, activities coordinator for a nursing home and a leader whenever she found herself. Probably the most resounding thread in the stories was how one woman changed so many things.
She championed women who suffered lives of abuse. From her indignant exclamation to me about one Rav who asked an abused woman what she had done to provoke her husband to her comments after meeting with a group of rabbonim who refused to acknowledge any spousal abuse in the frum community –“I have to make them see what is in front of them.” She would return to Baltimore after one of her out of town meetings and say I am making headway with them (not telling you that the “them” was a group of prominent rabbonim) Nothing would keep her from her mission—ailments or injuries were a nuisance not an impediment. She told me once she had asked her father (Rav Ruderman Ztz”l), what they did in Slabodka when women were abused. His response was “they closed the shutters”. She would shake her head and say that is not acceptable.
Due to her efforts there is a safe house for women in Baltimore and an awareness of the extent of the issue around the country. She traveled spoke, and cajoled, and remonstrated everywhere. As I said she would not take no for an answer. If someone said “no you cannot do that” she would say “Why not” When she realized that the Ladies Auxiliary of Ner Israel, an organization started by her mother which had been a support to the Yeshiva for years, had an aging membership and was not attractive to the young women she rejected the suggestion to intensify the membership drive to attract younger women and instead began the Ner Israel Service League, an organization led by young Kollel wives to promote the Yeshiva. As she said, the young women needed their own organization.
Along with her leadership skills and dedication to the Klal she was also a woman who appreciated beauty and order. Her table was beautiful, her food was delicious, her grooming impeccable. She appreciated art and attractive household items. She was a voracious reader and her choice of reading material was eclectic. She told me how important she felt it was for frum women to always leave their home neat, clean and presentable (and with their lipstick refreshed)!
At the Shiva House several individuals told of how she had mentored them when they came to Ner Israel as young wives and how she had inspired them One common theme was that of someone who told the rebbetzin they were going home for Pesach. Where are you going she would ask —“Home” they would say. No, she would insist. You are going to visit your parents — home is here with your husband. She delighted in each new baby and welcomed each new couple, always impressing upon them that they were home. She taught Shalom Bayis by modeling it — her kovod for the Rosh Yeshiva her husband, and the Rosh Yeshiva, her father, her attention to their needs, and always making her family the centerpiece of her life. She did not like to be dependent, so she chose to work outside the home. She brought her special brand of compassion and leadership to all her positions and made a true Kiddush Hashem wherever she was. She would say, I have to find a visitor for Mrs. — because no one comes to see her, or I have to call — family, the best medicine for their mother would be a rotation of visitors so she is not exhausted on Sunday and lonely the rest of the week. Baltimore and the entire Jewish community are greater because she said “why not?”.
She was the wonderful woman with a pithy sense of humor, the woman who always had good advice. the woman with an occasional irreverent chuckle about current events, the woman who loved Chinese food. the woman who would always go the extra mile for a friend. The woman who called me when Rami Fink (ed: my eldest son) was born to say “Welcome to the club” and I said “what club” and she said “The great-grandparents club what a special zchus to get there — and to even have him in town! (Ed: We lived in Baltimore for about a year and half after Rami was born before moving to LA.) Give him a hug and kiss for me”. Women like her are a rarity. She did more in a week than many people did in a month and more in a year than many do in a lifetime. Sitting and talking in her home, going out to dinner, sharing insights about a book, reminiscing about days gone by or just sharing anecdotes about the children and grandchildren. Just a few short weeks ago I brought dinner to her house which we ate and laughed and joked with her daughter Aviva — the oxygen machine was annoying, but it would be better, the beautiful smile and bright eyes still dominated. Such special times — they will remain in my memory.
There will be biographies and articles about this special rebbetzin – but they will never capture the full scope of this remarkable woman – the world will miss the rebbetzin – but I miss my special friend. Chana.
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