The Jewish Week has an exposé on the controversial Rosh Yeshiva of a certain yeshiva in Israel. For purposes of this blog post, it is irrelevant who this person is and what yeshiva he presides over. I have not met this rabbi nor have I ever been in his yeshiva. I have no personal experience to draw from. The issue I would like to address is a general issue brought to light in discussions about this rabbi (and others).
Examples of behavior by this rabbi include, emotional manipulation, intense yelling, embarrassment in public, forcing boys to wait for him for hours on end after he called them in for a meeting, insulting students, gathering information from student’s therapists, among other anti-social behaviors all designed to elicit change in the recipient of the abuse. I call it abuse because without justification it certainly is abusive. The question is whether or not there is justification.
The claim has been made that the rabbi is a genius or savant who understands human nature so well that there is a method to the madness. It usually works. Sometimes it does not. The victims of cases where it does not work are the ones who speak out. The others are appreciative that it did work and claim that the rabbi is amazing.
Similar claims have been made about other rabbis. Sometimes the rabbis are too touchy-feely. They hug or kiss their students in a non-sexual way and for many this is a welcome sign of affection. For others it is abuse. Other rabbis have been said to have hit students. Sometimes the hitting was playful or with camaraderie, like when an athlete congratulates another athlete with more force than the average person can bear. Other times the hitting is unequivocally abusive.
I find these sorts of claims, whether emotional or physical or sexual to be under one broad category. I think they show poor judgment on the part of the rabbi. I don’t think they show absolute abuse. However, in the absence of proper judgment some of the acts or even many of the acts may have been abusive. In other words, I don’t think rabbis with wacky methodologies are intrinsically evil. Nor do I think that their successes justify their sometimes erroneous behavior.
We all make mistakes. I am sure these rabbis would admit to having made mistakes in their dealings with people. We all do. Rabbis are human. They should be held to the standard of human beings. That is, the standard of people who err and regret things they have done. People are complex. They are not all good, nor are they all bad. Trying to put this rabbi in either of those categories is folly.
What bothers me most are the absolutists.
On the one hand you have people saying the man should be fired, removed, lynched, exposed, no matter what. On the other hand you have people explaining away all the wrong things that occur because “he’s a genius” or because he knows exactly what he is doing. Neither of these positions is reasonable.
If the rabbi has done something illegal, morally repugnant or harmful to a student we would not be having this conversation. He has not. Rather, he has tread a fine line of questionable behavior. If that line is crossed there are ways to handle it. But that does not mean that in the meantime the acts should be hidden. Nor does it mean that he should be given a free pass.
As always, balance is the key. Some people work best in non-conventional ways. Students know what they are in for when they sign up to learn in the rabbi’s yeshiva. That does not give the rabbi license to do as he pleases with no regard for human life. It means if you don’t want to be in that kind of environment, don’t go. But if this rabbi even puts one toe over the line, he begins a walk down a treacherous path. It is difficult to live that kind of life. It’s his life, he can choose to try to pull it off. To this point, there is no evidence he has crossed the line. But Lord help him, if he does.
In the meantime, I think it would wise for the rabbi to tone it down. I don’t know if he can, or if he wants to. But that would be my advice. If he is such a genius of human nature, I am sure he will figure out how to help his students while avoiding questionable behavior.
Link: Google it yourself
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