Special thanks to community member Elizabeth Danziger, founder of Worktalk Communications Consulting, for assisting in transforming this sermon from last year into an essay for this year.
Adam, Eve and The Lesson of Marriage
Breishis 5769
Breishis is an incredible Parsha. Of the many pertinent topics in this week’s Torah reading, I was immediately drawn to one specific area of the Parsha. The creation of a universe from nothing is quite an accomplishment. Of course for an all-powerful GD – it’s no big deal. But the ramifications of the creation are a big deal.
As we learn about the origins of our world, we encounter the logical steps of creation. In fact, Rabbi Samson Raphael Hirsch points of that the six days of creation are really three pairs of days. On the first day GD created light and dark, on the second day oceans and celestial waters, and on the third day dry land. Correspondingly, the fourth day is the culmination of the first day, so GD created luminaries to provide the light and energy for our world. The fifth day featured all the water and sky-creatures that were created on the second day. The sixth day completes the creation of land that GD created on the third day by providing men and beasts to inhabit that land. There is a specific order and logic to the process.
One step in the process, however, seems a bit halted. Each animal is created there in male and female forms. Each creature has a partner. The system seems to make clear – in order to reproduce, two partners are necessary. Adam himself notes this point and suddenly realizes that the system has included all creatures, save for one – himself! Imagine the confusion that must have set in when Adam discovered he was all alone in a very big world. It must have been quite disconcerting. GD responds to Adam’s concerns by providing a partner for him as well.
The Torah tells us the process by which Adam was given a partner. GD originally had created man as a being that was male and female in one. The human was an asexual being and was not divided into two genders like other beings. This did not sit well with Adam; he felt lonely. Then Eve was created from within Adam. Eve was someone who had once been part of him but was now independent. Why did GD arrange things this way? Why was the original plan to have one being? And when that plan failed, why was Eve merely fashioned from Adam’s spare parts? Something deeper must be going on here.
Additionally, we could ask what purpose Adam’s partner serves at all. If GD can do anything why did he create a system that requires two partners for reproduction? The system could have been more efficient if it was not necessary to involve a second party in reproduction. We can eat by ourselves, we can dress ourselves, we can earn a living by ourselves, and we can provide shelter by ourselves – so why can’t we reproduce by ourselves?
If we take a look at the text we find that GD blesses Adam and Eve as the verse states: ”Vayevarech Osam Elokim Vayomer Lahem, Pru, Urvu, Umilu es Haaretz Vikivshuha…” “And GD blessed them and said to them, reproduce, fill the land and conquer it.” Rav Hirsch offers a beautiful insight about this verse. When GD blessed the fish in the seas with a similar bracha the text reads: “Veyavarech Osam Laymor, Pru Urvu” and so on. What is the difference between the two blessings? So Rav Hirsch explains that the word “Laymor” is the key. “Laymor” connotes an automatic execution of GD’s will, meaning that if GD gives a blessing using the word Laymor it is more of an expression that GD wills the result of the blessing to occur as a fact of nature. It is due to HIS will and thus the fulfillment of the blessing is automatically given. The creatures in the water were blessed, by default, with tremendous powers of multiplication. In contrast, when GD blessed Adam and Eve it says, “Vayomer Lahem” which connotes a blessing that gives us the free will to fulfill the blessing. This is what separates us from the beasts. Reproduction is a function of our free will. As Rav Hirsch puts it, “That which in animals is a purely physical act becomes in man a free-willed moral act.” And with this charge of “Pru Urvu” GD delivers the four-fold mission of the moral development of the entire human race.
There are four steps to this blessing / commandment. 1) “Pru” is the marriage, the physical opportunity to produce offspring. Just as in beasts and plants the traits of the parents are transferred to the offspring, in mankind the spiritual traits of the parents are transferred to the children. This is what is colloquially known as being fruitful!
2) “Revu” is the family. We already see that physical increase of humans is more than a numbers game. There is a family aspect as well, which means that the role of the parent continues even after the child is born. The task of all parents is to provide a spiritual, moral education to their children. Only by carrying out this duty does the calling of “Pru” attain its high moral significance.
3) The word “Milu” is society. As humans populate earth, the blessing and demand to reproduce turns to a social requirement to watch out for the welfare of our fellow humans.
4) “Kivshuha” is property, which implies mastering the physical world in which we live for the furtherance of human goals. Acquiring wealth to provide the environment to accomplish these goals we have set forth is acceptable and is even admirable if done with the proper intent. Forming a physical home to raise a family to impart the values and morals we have discussed is the 4th step.
By these instructions in the creation story, GD has provided the basic instructions for all of society. But there is more. Is there an aspect to marriage that helps us to serve GD better? Or is it merely the condition that helps us fulfill the requirement to be fruitful?
We were created in the image of GD. One thing that this means is that our lives and the lessons of our lives can be applied to our relationship with GD. Many of the mitzvos are designed to help us connect with GD directly. However, there are other mitzvos that we can use as guides to learn how to connect with GD on our own. It can be hard to have a relationship with an all-knowing GD and He knows that. That is why he gave us marriage. It is a great analogy to our relationship with Him. In a marriage the two partners are connected at all times. Each one’s actions reflects directly upon the other. Similarly, in our relationship with GD, He is always with us and everything that we do reflects upon Him.
The implications of this idea are huge. Marriage is practice for our relationship with GD. There is much to learn from one’s marriage to one’s relationship with GD. For example. unconditionally loving one’s spouse no matter how we feel or how our day went can be tough, but it is good practice for times when we may not feel very inspired in our spiritual relationship with GD. Using this approach it is important for us to consider marriage and all our relationships using this four-step model: reproduction, family, society, and mastery over the material world. We need to consider the takeaway lesson of the 4th step, that is to use our resources, opportunities and material possessions to grow spiritually
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